In Memory of Severus Snape
by Magikae
Summary: Severus Snape has been called a lot of things: coward, greasy, bat-like, noble, hero… But everyone has a story behind who they are. This is the story of the Half-Blood Prince. (one-shot)


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its contents.

* * *

 **In Memory of Severus Snape (9 January, 1960 - 2 May, 1998)**

 _Alone. He will always be alone._

 _Severus Snape has been called a lot of things: coward, greasy, bat-like, noble, hero… But everyone has a story behind who they are. This is the story of the Half-Blood Prince._

* * *

Severus Snape never liked his parents much. In fact, he hated his father. They were never around in his life. His mother was always more interested in her looks than him, and his father, being a muggle, had hated him for his abnormality in being a wizard, and would beat him with his belt in his drunken state at night.

Severus had known from a young age what he was, hearing his father call his mother all sorts of profanities and his mother secretly giving him books about magic to read so he'd 'stay out of the way'.

He didn't really mind it when he was all by himself at school, being that quiet, poor boy with the ragged clothes who was always picked on by other students. He liked the silence.

But sometimes, he wished he could have at least one friend. Someone he could talk to. Someone who listens. Someone who understands.

* * *

He saw her the first time in the playground when he was nine. She and her sister were chasing around the swing. She was so happy, so carefree, he had no choice but to stand there and watch them play. Her laugh was contagious; every time he hears it, he couldn't help smiling along.

And her laugh helped him through his dark times, when he'd hide in the closet in his room because his father was drunk and yelling at his mother and turning tables and smashing glasses. He would imagine her there with him, and for once, he wasn't completely alone.

* * *

He learns of her name. Lily. He watches her in wonder as she did her first magic. She could shape the clouds in the sky into whatever she fancies. He had never seen such pure and beautiful magic. Back home, the best magic his mother does was making all the books slam down from the bookshelf while she argued with his father.

He learns of her sister, Tuney. She didn't approve of Lily's strange abilities. She would discourage her from doing it every time she tried. She'd call Lily a freak, and storm off in anger.

Severus didn't like it when they fought; it brought Lily a great sadness, he could tell, and that made him sad too.

* * *

'Lily, don't do it!' Petunia shrieked.

But Lily wasn't one to listen to orders. She lets go of the swing at the highest point, and flew up into the air, landing gracefully.

'Mummy told you not to! Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!'

'But I'm fine,' Lily giggled. Hearing her giggle made him smile. 'Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do.'

Lily picked up a fallen flower from the ground and when she held it up, the flower opened and closed its petals like a goldfish's mouth.

'Stop it!' Petunia shrieked.

'It's not hurting you,' Lily replied. But she put down the flower anyway, somewhat upset that her sister is not intrigued about this special power like she was.

'It's not right.' Petunia said stubbornly. 'But how do you do it, though?'

There was a trace of longing in her voice.

Severus couldn't help it any longer. He had watched Lily and her sister play in the playground almost every week for over a month now, sometimes twice a week. He wanted to _know_ her, and he wanted her to know him, too.

'It's obvious, isn't it?' Severus stepped out from behind the bushes.

Petunia's reaction was immediate. She shrieked loudly and ran back towards the swing. Lily, however, stayed where she was, even though she was clearly startled.

Severus started to regret coming out. Maybe it was better just to watch from the sides. At least then he could pretend that she wanted to be his friend. If she rejects him, he'd have nothing left.

'What's obvious?' asked Lily.

'I know what you are,' he said in a low voice, glancing at Petunia.

'What do you mean?'

'You're… you're a witch,' he whispered.

' _That's_ not a very nice thing to say to somebody,' Lily looked very affronted.

She turned to leave, marching off towards her sister.

'No!' Now he was really starting to regret it. He hadn't meant to insult her.

'You _are,_ ' Severus spoke to Lily. 'You _are_ a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard.'

Petunia laughed. It wasn't like Lily's laugh at all. Lily's laugh was warm and kind. Petunia's was like cold water and ice.

'Wizard!' she shrieked. ' _I_ know who _you_ are. You're that Snape boy! They live down in Spinner's End by the river,' she told Lily, glaring at Severus with great distain. 'Why have you been spying on us?'

'Haven't been spying,' he defended, now hot and uncomfortable. 'Wouldn't spy on you anyway. You're a Muggle.'

'Lily, come on, we're leaving,' Petunia scowled before marching off, and Lily followed, glaring at Severus.

And Severus watched her leave, his heart heavy with dread and disappointment.

How had it gone so wrong?

* * *

That night, when his father tore through his room in his drunken state and held up his belt to beat him, he didn't resist at all. After all, Petunia was right. He was a freak, and he was stupid to believe that he could ever have someone as good as Lily as a friend. He will always just be 'that Snape boy', with the poor family and mismatched clothes.

And he will always be alone.

Who was he kidding?

* * *

The following week, Severus didn't bother going to the playground to see Lily. He doubted she would welcome him if he showed up, and he was tired of pretending.

The students still bully and ridicule him at school, sneering at him for his freakishness when he excelled at his classes. His mother still continues to ignore him for the most part, going out clubbing at night to avoid his father. And his father still gets drunk every night, swearing and breaking things and sometimes beating Severus with his belt.

Things didn't change much, but for Severus, _everything_ changed. Now every time he imagines her laughing, he also sees her glaring at him. He can't imagine her smile encouraging him anymore while his classmates tormented him. He can't imagine her keeping him company anymore while he sat alone in his bedroom, waiting for time to pass. And he can't imagine her comforting him anymore, staying by his side and protecting him every time his father cracks his belt on him.

He is alone.

And he will always be alone.

* * *

So when he walked home that Friday, relieved to be free of school, yet dreading the weekend at home, he was surprised to see Lily running towards him, glancing behind her every now and then as if she was afraid of being followed.

'You're Snape, right?' Lily asked, slightly breathless.

'Er… Severus,' he corrected with a smile, still not believing that Lily Evans of all people was talking to _him_.

'Right. Severus.' Lily smiled back. 'Look, I know I was rude the other day, but— '

'I know,' Severus interrupted. 'I'm sorry for calling you a witch. I didn't mean to insult you.'

'No, I'm sorry I was rude to you.'

'It's okay.' Severus couldn't stop smiling.

'But, do you think, maybe,' she hesitated. 'Maybe, it could be true?'

Severus laughed. 'Of course it's true. There's no other way. Trust me, it's not a bad thing. Look, I can tell you all about it if you want,' he added earnestly.

From then on, Severus and Lily often met up in meadow next to the playground where they first met, and Severus would tell her about everything he knew about the Wizarding World. And sometimes, they would talk about their own personal lives.

'It must be awful, having parents that constantly argue every night,' Lily sympathised. He had yet to tell her about the beatings. He doubted she would take it well.

'I get used to it.'

* * *

'… and the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside school; you get letters.'

'But I _have_ done magic outside school!'

'We're all right. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven, and they start training you, you've got to be careful.' Severus explained.

'How are things at your house?' Lily asked tentatively.

'Fine,' he answered shortly. He still haven't told her about the beatings, and he doesn't think he ever will. He didn't want that burden on her.

'They're not arguing anymore?'

'Oh, they're still arguing,' Severus grabbed a fistful of grass and began tearing it up, apparently unaware of what he was doing. 'But it won't be that long and I'll be gone.'

'Severus?'

'Yeah?' a little smile pulled at the corner of his mouth when she said his name.

'Tell me about the Dementors again.'

'They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. They— "

A small rustling noise behind them made them turn; Petunia, hiding behind a tree, had lost her footing.

'Tuney!'

But Petunia had ran away.

'Did you make that happen?' Lily demanded, turning on Severus.

'No.' He was both defiant and scared.

'You did. You hurt her.' Lily glared at him before running after her sister.

And Severus stood there, watching her leave yet again, both miserable and confused.

* * *

'It's not your fault. I'm sorry I blamed you,' Lily apologised.

If it were any other person, Severus would have found a way to curse them already, making him go through all that pain of being left alone again. But then again, if it were anyone else, he wouldn't care that they'd left him.

'It's okay, but you have to stop blaming me. You can trust me, Lily.'

'Of course I can. We're friends.'

Severus stared at her in surprise as he felt his heart begin to warm. Friends. He's never had one before.

'Right. We're friends.' He smiled.

* * *

'Are you sure I can be here?' he asked again. He'd never been in someone else's house before. It was so different from his. Where his house was dark and dirty and gloomy, hers was the exact opposite. It was bright and clean and it had a positive energy to it, unlike his which feels neglected.

'Yes,' Lily rolled her eyes. 'Don't worry. Tuney's not home. Come on.'

With that reassuring thought in mind, he stepped into her room.

It wasn't at all what he'd picture a girl's room would look like. He'd always imagined pink walls, stuffed dolls everywhere, makeup dressers on the side. One of those stereotypical girls' rooms.

Yet Lily's room was green, and although there were some stuffed animals on the bed, it wasn't completely girly or made him uncomfortable like he'd originally thought it would. In fact, he quite liked the room. He felt himself begin to relax.

'What do you think?' Lily asked, clearly worried Severus wasn't going to like it. 'Tuney always said that green wasn't a girl colour, but I like green. It's my favourite colour.'

'It's mine, too.' He replied. _And it matches your eyes,_ he thought to himself.

'I have an idea,' Lily suggested, her eyes bright with excitement. 'Tuney's been locked up in her room for the past couple days now. She wouldn't tell me what she's been up to.'

Severus looked at her. 'So?'

'So I need to know,' she said in her most duh voice. 'Come on. I told you. Tuney's not home.' She pulled on Severus' hand.

So Severus followed her into Petunia's room, albeit a bit hesitantly.

'Now, why would anyone ever shut themselves into their room and be so secretive all day?' Lily wondered.

'Lily, why is there a letter addressed to Hogwarts on your sisters desk?'

Lily spun around so fast her neck must've cracked. 'What?'

She swooped it up off the desk and opened it.

'Do you really think you should be reading that?' Severus asked.

'Don't you want to know why Tuney would ever want to write to Hogwarts?'

Severus had to admit, he did want to know. So he let curiosity get the better of him. He moved to stand next to Lily so that he could read the letter too.

* * *

'I still can't believe Tuney asked Professor Dumbledore if she could go to Hogwarts,' Lily said incredulously.

'She's jealous of you, Lily. See, I told you you were special.' Severus smiled.

'But… but she _hates_ the school. She thinks it's a complete freak show.'

'She's jealous of you,' Severus repeated. Lily didn't seem to get it.

* * *

Severus was feeling very sorry for Lily. He had just overheard her argument with her sister on the platform, and she had seemed very upset. Severus wondered for the millionth time why Lily cared so much about what Petunia thought.

When he found her sitting in a corner inside a compartment where a group of rowdy boys was talking, he slid open the door and let himself in, seating himself next to her.

'You alright?' he asked.

'No, I don't want to talk to you,' she answered in a tight voice.

'Why not?'

'Tuney h— hates me. B—because we saw that letter from D— Dumbledore,' she looked up, and Severus saw that she had been crying.

'But we're going!' he said, unable to suppress the exhilaration in his voice. 'This is it! We're finally going to Hogwarts! Don't let her get you down, Lily.'

She nodded slowly, then didn't seem to be able to help herself as a grin plastered on her face.

'You better be in Slytherin,' he grinned, happy to take her mind off her sister.

'Slytherin?' One of the other boys in the compartment, who had been paying Severus and Lily no interest until now, spoke up.

'I think I'd rather leave, wouldn't you?' he glanced at his friend.

'I don't know, my entire family was in Slytherin.'

'Blimey, and I thought you were all right!'

'Yeah, well, I plan on breaking the tradition,' the boy grinned. 'So where would you go then, if you had the choice?'

The first boy made a dramatic gesture and lifted an invisible sword.

" _'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart.'_ Like my dad."

Severus made a small, disparaging noise. The boy rounded on him.

'Got a problem with that?'

'No,' he replied, though his sneer showed otherwise. 'If you'd rather brawny than brainy.'

'Where would you go, then, seeing as you're neither?' the second boy interjected.

The first boy laughed loudly. 'Good one, Sirius!'

'Come on, Severus. Let's go find another compartment.'

Severus glared at the two boys as he followed Lily out. The first boy tried to trip him as he passed.

But, despite his nonchalant look on the outside, his heart was heavy. He haven't even made it to Hogwarts yet and he'd already made enemies. Great.

* * *

'GRYFFINDOR!'

Severus' heart sank. His only friend was sorted not only into his probably-soon-to-be-rival house, she was in the same house as the second boy on the train, 'Black, Sirius'. Severus didn't doubt that the first boy will be in Gryffindor, too.

Lily hurried off to her new house, and Sirius made room for her. But as she turned around, she smiled sadly at Severus.

As Severus watched, the first boy on the train, "Potter, James" was sorted into Gryffindor, along with many others, until finally—

'Snape, Severus.'

Severus made his way towards the Sorting Hat.

'SLYTHERIN!'

And Severus made his way towards the far table, away from Lily, as a blond prefect patted him on the back. 'I'm Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy.'

But all that was on his mind was Lily, and how he could ever hope to stay friends with her when their houses hated each other. He can't lose her, not now, not ever. She was the only one who's ever been there for him. He made a vow to himself. Whatever happens, they will always stay friends.

He glanced across the Great Hall and met her emerald eyes. She smiled sadly back.

And although the table was filled with people and laughter, Severus felt alone.

He will always be alone.

* * *

'Well done, Severus. Ten points to Slytherin,' Professor Slughorn grinned, holding up Severus' vial of potion. 'Now everyone see here, this shade of blue is _exactly_ what I expect from everybody when we do this again next week.'

Severus smiled on the inside, where nobody could see. He'd finally found something he not only enjoyed, but was actually good at.

'Yeah, right,' Black scoffed as he strolled past Severus' cauldron. 'I bet you cheated, Greasy Snivellus.'

Severus ignored him.

'I heard you took quite an interest in the Dark Arts,' Potter taunted. 'Of course, it wouldn't surprise me. A slimy Slytherin like you wouldn't be able to stay away from the Dark Arts. Just be careful. Or my dad will catch you and send you to Azkaban. He's an Auror.'

Severus ignored him, too. They weren't worth his time. He was the first one out of the classroom as soon as Professor Slughorn dismissed them.

It was true though, he did have an interest in the Dark Arts. He couldn't help it. He knew that Lily thought it was wrong and that he shouldn't be involving himself in these things, but Severus had come to learn that Dark Arts is just like any other 'light' magic. It was the intent that made it dark. A simple hovering charm could be used to throw someone out of the window. Dark Arts was just misunderstood. Plus, he needs it to defend himself against Potter and his gang.

* * *

'No, it's not that you're in Slytherin,' Lily turned around, exasperated. 'And we _are_ friends, Sev. I just don't like the people you hang out with.'

A few years have passed, and their friendship was yet again being tested.

"Avery and Mulciber, Sev. _Mulciber_. What do you see in him? Do you know what he did to Mary McDonald the other day?'

'It was just for a laugh, Lils.'

'It was _Dark Magic_ , Sev!'

'What about the things Potter and his friends get up to?'

'What does he have to do with _anything_?'

'They sneak out at night,' Severus tried to make Lily understand. 'There's something weird about Lupin.'

'He's ill,' she replied shortly.

'Every full moon?'

'Look, I know you have your theories, but— '

'I'm just trying to show you that they're not as wonderful as everyone thinks they are.'

'I know for myself who they are, and I heard what happened the other night. You were sneaking down the Whomping Willow and they saved your life.'

'You don't know half of the story.'

'Look,' Lily pleaded. 'I don't want us to be arguing again.'

'Me neither. I'm sorry,' he sighed. They seemed to be apologising to each other a lot.

'I'm sorry too. You can be friends with whoever you want. It's none of my business.'

They both smiled and let out a relieved breath. They will always be friends.

* * *

'Expecto Patronum!'

A silvery doe erupted from his wand. He didn't understand. Why was his patronus a doe? It was supposed to reflect who you were, and he didn't think of himself as gentle or kind, like he'd expect from an animal like a deer. He was confused.

* * *

Severus felt pretty good about his Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.s. He was sure he'd get an 'Outstanding'. Just as he was putting away his notes for the next test, Transfiguration, he heard a loud shout of, 'All right, Snivellus?'

He'd recognise that voice anywhere. Before he had anytime to think about it, his wand was halfway up in his hands. But Potter was quicker, and with an 'Expelliarmus!', his wand flew twelve feet in the air and landed in the grass behind him with a little thud.

He dived for his wand, but before he could get too close, James pointed his wand at him again.

'Impedimenta!' Severus was knocked off his feet. He was seething now, but, as much as he hated to admit it, he was also scared of what they would do to him. No doubt nobody would help him. In fact, they would probably stand and laugh while Potter and his friends burned him alive. But it's alright; he didn't need help. He's been through this before.

'How'd the exams go, Snivelly?'

'You—you wait.' Severus spat at him, looking at him with the purest loathing. 'Just you wait.'

'Wait for what?' Black replied coolly. 'For you to wipe your nose on us? You greasy git.'

Severus was sick and tired of this. He was always picked on for his greasy hair and his hooked nose, but they didn't know the story behind it, nor did he think they'd care. But his nose had been broken countless times before, when his father was drunk and would push him into the ground and punch him. His hair was only greasy from the fumes of the potions he made. He valued his potions more than his hair, unlike Black, who values his hair way too much. Severus wondered how he'd react if he woke up one day with all of it gone. Severus decided he'd make it happen tonight. It would serve him right.

Severus let out a stream of hexes and curses, but none of it did anything as his wand was still a few feet away.

'Wash your mouth,' James said coldly. 'Scourtify!'

Immediately, pink bubbles appeared in his mouth, the froth foaming at his lips, gagging him, choking him.

 _How could it possibly get worse than this?_ he thought to himself bitterly. He could just see the headline on the Daily Prophet now. _Severus Snape, death by choking on pink bubbles._

Brilliant. He couldn't take the humiliation anymore.

'Leave him ALONE!'

Everyone turned around, but Severus didn't need to. He'd recognise that voice anywhere too. He didn't want her to see him like this.

'Leave him alone.' Lily repeated. 'What's he ever done to you?'

Severus wanted to tell her to leave, that he could handle this himself, but he couldn't speak.

'Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean,' Potter sniggered. Many of the surrounding students laughed.

'You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag. Leave him _alone_.'

There was that word again. Alone. He'll always be alone.

While Potter yet again tried to ask Lily to go out with him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Severus quickly grabbed his wand and shot a curse at Potter's face just as he turned around. A gash appeared on his face, splattering blood on his robes. Potter's face became enraged as his wand flew in Severus' direction. A flash of light later, Severus was hanging upside down in the air, revealing his skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people cheered and roared with laughter. Severus saw out of the corner of his eyes that Lily's lips twitched for an instant as if she was going to smile. Severus saw red. She was supposed to be the one person who was on his side. He was humiliated enough, he didn't need his only friend to be laughing at him as well.

'Let him down. Leave him alone!'

Severus fell in a crumpled heap on the ground. _'Petrificus Totalus!'_

'Leave him _alone_.'

Severus was tired of that word. Alone. Because no matter what he'd thought, he'd always be alone. Even the ones he thought were his friends will turn on him.

'You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus— '

Severus had had enough. 'I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!' he spat. The second the words left his mouth, he regretted it. He didn't mean to call her that word.

Lily blinked.

'Fine, I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your underpants if I were you, _Snivellus,_ ' she replied coolly before turning away.

Potter shouted something at him but he didn't hear. He couldn't think of anything at the moment except for the fact that his friendship with Lily had probably just ended. For good. He didn't think there was anyway to fix what he'd done.

After Lily stormed off, Severus found himself being suspended in the air again, but he couldn't find himself to care. He'd just lost the only person he'd ever cared about.

* * *

'Lily, please. I'm sorry,' Severus tried yet again.

'Apology not accepted,' Lily folded her arms. 'Save your breath. I've been making excuses for you for years. I only came out because Mary said you were threatening to sleep out here.'

'I was. I would have done. Lily, I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just— '

'Slipped out?' Lily's voice was cold. 'It's too late. I've tried to make our friendship last, Sev, but I can't do this anymore. None of my friends could understand why I even talk to you. You and your Death Eater friends. You just can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? '

Severus opened his mouth and closed it.

'See, you don't even try to deny it. You're going to be a Death Eater. I can't pretend anymore. We were friends when we were kids, but you've made your choice, and I've made mine.' She took a deep breath.

'Goodbye, Sev,' she whispered before turning away and climbing into the portrait hole into her common room.

And Severus stood there, watching her leave yet again. His heart wasn't just sinking anymore. It was gone, like a black hole had replaced it.

Alone. He will always be alone.

* * *

Severus never got the chance to talk to Lily again. She avoided him wherever she went, and it wasn't until weeks later that he realised why he didn't seem to be able to get over her.

It wasn't just because she was his first friend, or because she was the only one who cared. He loves her. He realise it now, but it was too late. There was no way to replace the damage he'd caused.

* * *

Potter stepped in his way as he was walking down the corridor to his next class.

'Hey, guess what, Snivelly? Lily Evans just agreed to go on a date with me,' he gloated. Severus had of course already heard about this. He was in the Great Hall when Potter shouted it to the world.

Severus tried to seem indifferent and walked past him, and for once, Potter lets him go.

Severus didn't understand. Why would Lily ever want to go out with someone she'd claimed to hate so many times? Why does bloody Potter always get whatever he wants?

* * *

'Do you pledge your loyalty to the Dark Lord?'

'I do, my Lord.' Severus bowed lower.

Voldemort pushed his wand into Severus' arm, hissing under his breath, and a rage of agony he'd never felt before blinded him. His arm was on fire. Then, as quickly as it came, it subsided, leaving a numbing pain on the inside of his arm where a new, slithering tattoo appeared.

'Do not disappoint me, Severus.' The Dark Lord's voice was cold.

'Never, my Lord.'

* * *

 _You are invited_

 _to the WEDDING_

 _joining the lives of_

 _Miss Lily Evans_

 _and_

 _Mr James Potter_

 _Saturday_

 _August 19_ _th_ _1978_

 _at 2:00pm_

 _Potter Mansion_

 _Hawcrest Ave_

 _Gilbert Hill_

 _Reception to follow_

* * *

 _Severus Snape,_

 _Although Lily claims that she doesn't want you at the wedding, I have seen her holding this invitation and putting it back down quite a lot of times. Yes, I'll admit we've had our differences and that I've probably been less than friendly to you, but it would mean a lot to Lily if you came to our wedding. I am willing to let go of the past for one day for her. But of course, it will be completely understandable if you cannot make it._

 _James Potter_

* * *

Severus held the invitation tightly in one hand and the awkward short note in the other. And he was mad. Did Potter seriously believe that a little note could just erase the past? He didn't even apologise, not that he wanted an apology.

' _Less than friendly?_ ' Try almost leading him to his death. He wasn't interested in watching the girl he loved being married to his biggest enemy. Severus ripped both the invitation and the note to shreds before setting it on fire.

* * *

Severus inched closer to the door to hear.

'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… Born to those who have thrice defied him… Born as the seventh dies…'

'Severus?' He jumped. Tom the bartender was looking at him with those creepy eyes. 'Can I help you?'

'Er… no, I was just leaving,' Severus hurried out the door, on his way to see the Dark Lord.

* * *

'My Lord, I have news. I have overheard a prophesy about you, my Lord.'

'What is it, Severus?'

Severus relayed everything he'd heard. 'Interesting. Born to those who have thrice defied me, born at the end of July…'

Suddenly, Severus had a troubling thought. But… surely, it wasn't possible. It couldn't be her. He doubted that she has defied the Dark Lord three times. But her child… he was born at the end of July. He was sure of it.

 _No,_ he prayed. _Let it be anyone but her. Please._

'Severus?'

Severus started, but the Dark Lord didn't seem to notice, as he was too deeply immersed in his thoughts.

'Gather information on who it could be. I expect a list by the end of the week. Do not fail me, Severus.'

'Yes, my Lord.'

* * *

Severus looked at the records again. It couldn't be. But it was there, on the file taken from the Ministry of Magic. Lily fits in the prophesy. There weren't many who'd defied the Dark Lord three times. No, he had to save her.

No matter how many times he'd tried to tell himself he hated her, he just couldn't. He couldn't escape the fact that he'd always care about her, even when she married his childhood bully and tormenter and had a _child_ with him together. Severus didn't want to think about what that implies. Ever since he'd figured out why his patronus was a doe, he'd cast it once in a while, checking to see if it ever changes. It never does.

No, if Voldemort does kill Lily because of the prophesy, it'd be his fault. He was the one who'd alerted the Dark Lord about it. If she dies, her blood was on his hands. He won't let that happen, whatever it takes.

* * *

A white, blinding jet of light sailed through the air, and Severus dropped to his knees, his wand thrown out of his hands.

'Don't kill me!'

'That was not my intention. What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?' Dumbledore asked calmly.

'No—no message. I'm here on my own account! I—I come with a warning—no, a request—please!'

'What request could a Death Eater make of me?'

'The—the prophesy… the prediction… Trelawney…'

'Ahh, yes. How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?'

'Everything—Everything I heard. He believes it is Lily Evans!'

'The prophesy did not refer to a woman. It spoke of a boy born at the end of July.'

'You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son. He's going to hunt her down—kill them all—'

'And what would you like me to do?'

'Hide her… protect her… please!'

'You disgust me! You do not care about the husband or the child. They can die, as long as you have what you want.'

'Hide them all then. Please, whatever it takes to keep her—them—safe.'

'And what will you give me in return?'

Severus gaped for a moment, then considered it. If Lily dies, nothing would matter anymore.

'Anything.'

* * *

Severus looked at the ruins before him in horror. No, this wasn't possible. Dumbledore had promised, there was no way Voldemort could get past the headmaster. Yet the evidence was there, the house blown up, shattered remains everywhere. Before he knew what he was doing, his legs were taking him into the destructed house. His mind was numb. This could not be happening. Lily Evans could not be dead.

But he saw it. Her body. It was lying on the ground next to the crib where a baby cried.

'Lily, no. NO!' The tears streaming down his face felt alien. He hadn't cried in years. 'Lily, wake up, please Lily. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.'

But it was too late.

He is alone.

And he will always be alone.

* * *

'How,' Severus croaked, making a sound like a whimpering animal. He lifted his face, and he looked as if he had lived a hundred years in misery since the last time he'd been there. 'How was it possible? You—you said—'

'She and James put their faith in the wrong person. Quite like you; weren't you hoping that Voldemort would spare her?'

Severus couldn't reply.

'Her boy lives,' Dumbledore continues. 'Her son. He has her eyes—precisely her eyes. I believe you remember the shape and colour of Lily's eyes?'

'DON'T!' Severus screamed. 'Gone… Dead…'

'Is this remorse, Severus?'

'I wish—I wish _I_ were dead.' Without Lily, what was the point of life? He couldn't imagine living in a world without Lily Evans. It just doesn't work.

'And what use would _that_ be to anyone?' Dumbledore said coldly. 'If you truly loved her, then your way onwards is clear.'

'What—what do you mean?'

'You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect her son.'

'He doesn't need protecting. The Dark Lord is gone—'

'—the Dark Lord will return. And when he does, Harry Potter will be in danger.'

Severus considered it. Could he really do that? To do all of this for Lily? He didn't want to; he'd rather just die and get it over with, to be relieved of this constant pain. Yet he knew in his heart that this is what she would have wanted from him. He took a deep breath.

'Very— very well. But you must never reveal this to anyone. I want your word.'

'My word, Severus, to never reveal the best of you?' Dumbledore sighed. 'If you insist.'

Dumbledore walked out of the office, and Severus was left alone again.

He will always be alone.

* * *

Lily was good at potions. Not as good as him, of course, but she was good. Severus wondered if Potter would be good too. He doubted it.

'Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?'

He must admit, he was pretty proud of thinking of that one. Asphodel is a type of lily which meant 'my regrets follow you to the grave', and wormwood means 'absence' and 'bitter sorrow'. That combined, he was really saying, 'I bitterly regret Lily's death.'

But he doubted Potter would ever be able to interpret that. In fact, he doubted he could answer the question at all.

Of course, he was right.

'I don't know, sir.'

Severus knew he shouldn't judge him by his father, as he wouldn't want to be judged by who his father was either, but he couldn't help it. Harry Potter was the exact copy of James Potter when he was that age. The only thing stopping Severus from cursing him was his emerald green eyes. He had Lily's eyes. Which reminded him that Lily had married Potter. Which brought back his bad mood.

* * *

All these years after Lily has died, Severus, like everyone else, had always blamed Black. He was their Secret Keeper. He betrayed them. He caused Lily's death.

So when news got out that he had escaped Azkaban and was trying to kill Harry Potter, Severus was beyond mad; he was livid. He will have his revenge on him. For Lily. All of his hard work of keeping Potter alive; he was not going to let _Black_ destroy it.

Black and Potter had always been the school's 'Golden Boy', as much as he had been the 'Greasy Scumbag'. Black had always gotten what he wanted. He had always gotten away with things. Well that stops now, because Severus was going to kill him, just like he killed Lily.

* * *

' _Expelliarmus!_ '

Severus watched in bewilderment as three spells zoomed towards him at once. Then there was blackness.

* * *

He couldn't believe it. He had him! He had them both! Lupin and Black! Then of course bloody Potter had to turn on him. Foolish boy. And now Black has escaped again, and Severus knew for a fact that Potter had done it, and that the headmaster had been in on it.

Bloody Black, always getting what he wants.

* * *

'Karkaroff's Mark is becoming darker, too,' Severus whispered to Dumbledore as they stood apart near the Entrance Hall after the Yule Ball had concluded. 'He is panicking. He intends to flee if the Mark burns.'

'And are you tempted to join him? Will you flee?'

'No. I'm not such a coward.'

'No, you're not. Sometimes I think we Sort too soon…' Dumbledore mused before walking away, leaving Severus to wonder just what on earth he had meant.

Did Dumbledore just say he might be in Gryffindor if he was re-sorted right now? That man really is getting old.

 _Gryffindor._

Severus shuddered at the thought.

* * *

'Will you, Severus, watch over my son Draco as he attempts to fulfil the Dark Lord's wishes?'

'I will.'

'And will you, to the best of your ability, protect him from harm?'

'I will.'

'And, should it prove necessary… if it seems Draco will fail… will you carry out the deed that the Dark Lord has ordered Draco to perform?'

There was a moment of silence.

'I will.'

The blaze of the rope which bounded their hands glowed brightly, illuminating their faces in a fiery red.

What did he just get himself into?

* * *

Severus strolled into the bathroom as soon as he heard the commotion. His heart skipped a beat when he saw his godson covered in blood. He recognised the spell instantly. He created that spell.

Potter was standing next to him. As soon as he saw Severus, he ran away. Severus will deal with him later. Draco cannot die. He swore to protect him. He took the Unbreakable Vow, for Merlin's sake!

* * *

Severus stood outside of the headmaster's office with his hands on the wall, breathing deeply. He could feel his dinner threatening to come back out. He couldn't believe it. He can't do this. The great Albus Dumbledore has just asked him, Severus Snape, to kill him. And he couldn't believe that he'd agreed. He was going to have to kill Albus Dumbledore, the greatest headmaster Hogwarts had ever known. Damnit Lily, this was all her fault.

Whenever Severus had to make a big decision, he would think to himself, _'What would Lily want me to do?'_

And when Dumbledore had asked Severus to kill him, he could almost hear her say, _'I know you'll do the right thing, Sev.'_

Damnit Lily.

* * *

'What are you saying, that Potter would have to die, after all we've done to protect him?'

Dumbledore's only response was a slight dip of his head.

'You have used me.'

'Meaning?'

'I have spied for you, and lied for you, and put myself in mortal danger for you, all to keep Lily's son safe. Now you tell me you've been raising him like pig for slaughter— '

'Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?' Dumbledore said seriously.

'For _him_?' Severus yelled. 'Expecto Patronum!'

A silver doe erupted from his wand. She was as beautiful as the first time he'd done it. The doe pranced around the room and out the window.

Dumbledore watched as she flew away, and turned back to Severus, whose eyes had been filled with tears.

'After all this time?'

'Always.'

* * *

Severus flew alongside his fellow Death Eaters as they waited for Potter to show up. He was the first to spot them, but he kept his silence.

As soon as the other Death Eaters saw them — Potter and Lupin — they zoomed after him, firing hexes and curses at a rapid speed. Severus watched in horror as a Death Eater crept up behind Lupin, his wand pointed directly behind his back.

' _Sectumsempra!_ ' Snape shouted.

But the spell, intended for the Death Eater, missed and hit Potter's ear. Then Potter started to change, red hair popping up above his head. It was one of the Weasley twins.

* * *

'I must master the wand, Severus,' the Dark Lord hissed. 'Master the wand, and I will master the Potter boy at last.'

Severus knew what was happening. After all he'd been through, all the spying and killing… This is his end. He's going to die.

'Kill,' Voldemort hissed.

He didn't even have enough time to see the snake bite into his neck. Pain erupted through his body, paralysing him.

But Severus didn't feel scared. He'd already lived longer than he wanted to. He'd planned to die when Lily was gone. He didn't think he could live in a world without her, but he did. And he made a difference. He had made a difference to the Wizarding World, and to the Muggle World. Their side might just win now, and he had his part in it.

And Severus had fooled the Dark Lord. Only few could say that. He was about to die, but it wasn't because Lord Voldemort knew the truth about his loyalty.

He fooled the Dark Lord.

Everything he'd done, it'd been for Lily, so her sacrifice wouldn't go to waste. But Severus was ready to join her now. He'd lived enough.

He could feel his life slipping away. The Dark Lord was gone now; he could feel it. Voldemort had mercilessly left him there to die.

Then he felt a hand on his arm, and he opened his eyes to see Potter. He tried to speak, to tell him of what Dumbledore had told him. That he must die for Voldemort to be defeated. But his voice wouldn't obey him. So he did the next best thing. He sent out his memories. He could feel them, gushing from his ears, his mouth and his eyes.

'Take… it… Take… it…'

He tried to fight the darkness that was threatening to overcome him.

'Look… at… me…'

Potter— no, Harry, looked up, and emerald eyes found the onyx. Her eyes. Lily's eyes. Severus held on to them. He'd be seeing her soon.

' _I am coming, Lily…'_

He pictured her face, holding on to the promise that he would soon meet her again as he took his final breath from the world.

And for once, he's not alone.

* * *

In Memory of Severus Snape, The Half-Blood Prince

9th January, 1960 - 2nd May, 1998

Battle of Hogwarts

The one who died for love

* * *

A/N: Severus Snape was born on this day, 56 years ago. I felt like he deserved some recognition for everything he'd done. I reckon he's underrated. This is the first fanfic I've ever written. Please leave a review, whether you liked it or not. Comment or PM me if you'd like me to post more life stories of different characters. Please do not flame, but constructive criticism welcome :)

-Kae


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